I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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