i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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