Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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  (951): Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list. http://tfl.nu/idtu
  Replies (24) Good night (4184) Bad night (647)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.

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  (805): I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense. http://tfl.nu/syxd
  Replies (27) Good night (7020) Bad night (605)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"

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  (317): she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES" http://tfl.nu/88gh
  Replies (46) Good night (4037) Bad night (1132)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"

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  (918): My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?" http://tfl.nu/ksw8
  Replies (13) Good night (5106) Bad night (951)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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  (573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1765) Bad night (1041)
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  (845): View more from New York

  dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"

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  (845): dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED" http://tfl.nu/7ras
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (2588)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.

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  (315): I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions. http://tfl.nu/ogn1
  Replies (3) Good night (2669) Bad night (939)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...

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  (803): Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday... http://tfl.nu/4ejd
  Replies (8) Good night (1436) Bad night (543)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog

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  (570): Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog http://tfl.nu/bwn1
  Replies (10) Good night (524) Bad night (1515)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i might be a female sloth

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  (617): female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away (781): i think i might be a female sloth http://tfl.nu/d8fr
  Replies (5) Good night (1819) Bad night (295)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed

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  (204): But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed http://tfl.nu/dvif
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (174)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope I went the fuck home like an adult

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  (717): Nope I went the fuck home like an adult http://tfl.nu/d43f
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (241)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy

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  (301): He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy http://tfl.nu/agcj
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (352)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

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  (+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special http://tfl.nu/nl3i
  Replies (0) Good night (586) Bad night (199)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal

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  (734): My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal http://tfl.nu/dojo
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (183)

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