I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.