Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's always time for handjobs
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU