Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
