Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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