Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
