Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
