Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
