so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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