Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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