Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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