escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
