You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just had sex bonerless
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
