I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
