the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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