OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
