eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
