We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize