The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
