i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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