Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
