I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
