Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
