I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize