So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
