Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
50% drunk capacity currently
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
