Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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