Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize