What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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