you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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