I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
is it fun? or sober?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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