All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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