fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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