whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
