i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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