Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
