...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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