Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
