the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
