Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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