Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
