My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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