day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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