I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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