i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
