haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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