Will you blow on my dice?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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