hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you would pick up someone in the library
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
