Plan B is the new Plan A
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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