That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
