these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
