Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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