just tell him i said nine months
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
