but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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