I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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