There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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