then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
