I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize