Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
