I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
