do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize