He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
