She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's never too late to be topless.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
