Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
